Thursday, July 21, 2011

For Reals, yo.

Ok, so that summer thing only lasted a solid week.  Oh well! I got to visit the East Coast and sweat and feel stifled and sit out on the porch to catch a breeze and see the lightening bugs and listen to the cicadas and swat at mosquitoes....so it's all good, I suppose.

Other than that, I had some deeeeep thoughts on the plane ride home:

1).  There is a gag reflex for the mouth, is there an equivalent for your other end?

2). When you are falling, you are actually weightless.

Let's discuss.

1). Is there some trigger in your lower digestive system that will possibly make you void its contents?  This is nasty, but whatever.  I was reading something about vomiting (why? probably just 'cause) and there is a kind of vomiting where your intestines spasm in the wrong direction, sending waste material into your stomach, and consequently, out through your mouth....like that South Park episode, sorta.  Gross! imagine how many mints you would need to throw down to get rid of that aftertaste.

But, is there, like, a gag reflex for your butt?  Like, some trigger area and Whoosh!, instant laxative? Ponder, ponder, ponder.

Why did I start thinking about this on the plane?  Do you really want to know?  No? whatever, I will tell you anyway.  It's cause I was watching a middle-aged woman turn around to talk to the person behind her, while she half leaned, one knee in her seat, facing the opposite direction.  My eyes were attracted to her fingers; fingers looking like precursors to arthritis.  You know when it looks like someone's fingers are too long for the skin that binds them and they start to crook a bit and get tight at the ends?  Anyway, so I was watching her sparkly rings squeezing her finger skin and I noticed what looked like chocolate on her index finger...which, of course, led me to wonder about the actual chemical composition of the substance and from whence it came...leading my brain alllll the way down, down, down to questioning a rectal gag reflex.  I think the flight attendants came by with Lorna Doones just then and I was immediately distracted from thinking any further on the subject until now...mmmmmmm, Lorna Doones.

2).   I actually figured this out through imagined scenarios in my head.  I think I heard about it somewhere (maybe even physics class in high school!), but never quite understood it.  You can not have weight unless you are still enough to be measured, on a surface of some sort, a gravity laden environment.  If you are falling, you have no weight, because it can't be measured without slowing your fall.  And then, if you are just slowing your fall, you are not measuring weight, but more like, gravity or speed or some other force.  You can only measure weight before and after a fall, but not during.

But wait! This brings me to a whole, new perplexing question that could probably be easily answered through a quick google search! If you are in outer space, and you are holding 2 tons...no...hold on, just figured it out.  That is, in fact the definition of being in outer space...being weightless...so no 2 ton anything.  Nevermind! figured it out.

....cats are cutest when they are asleep on your lap-you see? how profound.

Looking forward to more oxygen-deprived, pressure-bound deep thoughts tomorrow.  If I remember them, I shall post them.

Exciting! (maybe)

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